


Starting Over

by StormyBear30



Category: Queer as Folk (UK)
Genre: Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-25
Updated: 2011-10-25
Packaged: 2017-10-24 22:59:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/268842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30





	Starting Over

We weren't really happy now that I think back upon it and hadn't been for a long time. It had been five years since we had moved to America…four years since we had shagged for the first time and three since we had become an official couple. Everything wasn't allows glorious in the beginning…but we were in love and we were happy and it seemed to be enough for the both of us. However…that quickly changed shortly after that when Stuart's money ran out and the two of us were forced to face reality once again. We were forced to find work and we quickly learned that life in the America's was not as easy as we once expected. It wasn't that I minded working since truth be told I was tired of the constant traveling…but what upset me was that I couldn't find anything that would pay me half a decent wage. I ended up working for a huge discount chain as an assistant manager that I hated with a passion…but it helped to pay the bills so I managed. It wasn't much different from what I was doing back home…except that I was no longer in charge and had a manager over me. Michael was a very nice man…who made the boring job somewhat interesting. It was during those working times that we learned just how similar we were to each other and that in itself was a great comfort. He turned out to be a wonderful friend towards the end and I will never be able to repay him for his kindness.

Stuart was absolutely miserable in his place of work. He was used to being the big man about town…the one that was large and in charge of his surroundings. Instead however…he found that he was a very small fish in a very large pond. He quickly learned that he was no longer at the top of the food chain and it seemed that no matter how hard he tried to climb it…there was always someone much younger and smarter knocking him back down. It wasn't much shortly there after that things between us really started to take a nose dive. Before as we were traveling to wherever the road took us…it was always just the two of us…happy and without a care in the world. But…with a home mortgage…bills that seemed to just pop up from anywhere and constant work schedules…the closeness that we had always depended on started to crack at the seams. The beginning of the end came upon us rather quickly and then in a instant it all snowballed down hill from there.

"Vince…I'm home" I heard him call out to me as I sat nervously in the darkened lounge. I was afraid that I had some news to tell him and predicted that he would not be happy with it. "What are you doing sitting here in the dark?" He asked me as he walked into the room and saw me sitting in the corner. "Today was a shite day" He spoke over his shoulder…turning on a light as he made his way into the kitchen. "That asshole Kinney asked me to make a presentation…you know the one that I worked on all weekend and then he had the nerve to present it himself" He ranted on….foraging around the refrigerator for something to eat. "He took all the credit and…What the fuck is this?" I heard him scream madly as I cringed within the chair I was sitting on. "Bloody Christ Vince…not again. Tell me that you didn't do it again?" His cries got louder as he walked into the lounge holding a bent front fender within his hands. "What the fuck did you hit this time?" I didn't speak a word because I knew that Stuart had every right to be angry since it had been the third time in six months that I had ripped it off. "Bloody well answer me"

"A concrete pole in the parking garage at the mall" I answered…swallowing hard because I knew what was coming next and Stuart did not disappoint. For the next hour I had to listen as Stuart berated me twelve different ways about my driving and my irresponsibility. I felt as if he were talking to a child and not the grown man that shared his bed and his life. The fact was that lately Stuart had been treating me more as a child then as a man and I for one was getting completely tired of it.

"Bleeding Christ Stuart" I cut in…jumping off of the chair I had perched myself upon. "I made a fucking mistake…but you wouldn't know anything about making mistakes would you since you're so bloody perfect. I'll call the insurance company tomorrow and have it taken care of. That's what we have it for…to pay for little things like this" I went on…yelling almost as loud as he had been…except that Stuart was now dead silent and I knew that wasn't a good thing.

"You're just forgetting one thing Vince" He spoke quietly…but deadly before bringing his voice back to top decibels. "There's a five hundred dollar deductible that you have to pay before they can fix anything and that's five hundred dollars that we don't have" I quieted down in an instant the moment that he uttered those words because I knew that they were true. "You know what…fuck this" He screamed in my face before making his way back towards the door. "I need to get out of here"

"Stuart wait…where are you going?" I asked fearfully because I hadn't seen Stuart that mad in a long while. "It's late…come to bed. We can work this out in the morning" I tried to sooth…placing my hands upon his shoulder.

"Don't touch me…" He bit out…jerking his whole body away from me as I stood before him in blind shock. "I can't…I don't want to be around you right now. I need some space…don't wait up for me" Were his last words as he exited out the front door…leaving me stunned and broken in his wake. I watched as he jumped into his jeep…gunning the engine as he raced out of my line of sight. I had a pretty good idea as to where he was going and just what he was going to be doing once he got there.

True to form Stuart did not disappoint as he stumbled into the house several hours later completely bladdered. I don't know how he got home in one piece and at that point I didn't care. I was exhausted…mentally and physically as he literally fell across me as I lay on the bed while trying to get onto his side. He didn't speak a word and neither did I as he once again made another attempt…giving up the fight as he passed out across my legs. With a heavy hearted sigh I pulled myself from under his bulk before moving him over enough for me to lay back down. My heart shattered into pieces as I lay him upon his back and took in my first good look of the man whom I still loved with my entire heart and soul. The buttons of his shirt were completely gone as if someone was in a great rush to remove it. The zipper of his trousers was half open…dark pubic hair peeking through the opening. I knew that when Stuart had left for work that morning that he had put on a pair of boxers…but those seemed to be missing at the moment. Tears trickled silently down my face as I traced my finger across his swollen lips as I wondered who it was that had kissed him so brutally that they had drawn blood in the form of a cut in the corner of his mouth.

I knew that I couldn't lay down next to Stuart after his obvious betrayal as I grabbed the duvet from off of the bed and made my way downstairs. I cried like mad that night as I tried to come to terms with what Stuart had done to me as well as what had become of us in the previous years. I know now that it was naive of me to think that once Stuart and I made love for the first time that everything would fall magically into place…but I never imagined that we would be where we were at that time. I was heartbroken beyond belief or so I thought until the phone rang. "Answer the fucking phone" I heard Stuart scream out…also hearing something hitting the floor once he had. I assumed that he had once again passed out and maybe hit the floor this time rather then the bed…but I didn't care as I picked up the phone.

"This is the overseas operator will you accept a long distance phone call from Alexander…" my heart was beating so hard and so quickly within my chest that I found that I was fighting to stay coherent. I knew that something had to be seriously wrong for Alexander to be calling me in the middle of the night and collect.

"Yes…yes…" I practically screamed into the phone as I tried to figure out what he was calling for. "Alex…Alex…what's wrong?" I nearly screamed into the phone in a full out panic.

"It's your mother Vince" He began. "She's had a heart attack early this morning. They rushed her to hospital…but there was nothing that they could do. I'm so sorry Vinnie…but she's passed away" I could no longer hold the phone within my hand as I dropped it to the floor as if it had bitten me…just staring at it in utter shock. I wanted to believe deep within my heart that this was some kind of a cruel and heartless joke that my old friend Alex was playing on me as I began to laugh hysterically. I was laughing so hard and so loud that I must have woken Stuart up once again because before I knew what was happening he was standing before me with a sour look upon his normally handsome face.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He ground out…rubbing his hand across his forehead indicating that he was in pain. I could only stand there trying like hell to control my laughter…but failing miserably as I recalled all that had happened earlier as well as in the past few years. My laughter turned into screams of hysteria as I fell to my knees and allowed all the pain and the heartbreak to consume me. Tears as huge as shillings bled down my face as I continued to stare at the phone…picking it up as an anger unlike I had ever experienced before began to overtake me as I threw it across the room. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Stuart screamed at me…jerking me to my feet as he peered at me thought half open eyes.

"Don't you touch me…" I cried out…pushing him away from me as he stumbled backwards and landed on the couch. "Don't you ever fucking touch me again" He just stood there completely gobsmacked. "My mother…she died this morning" I bit out…tears once again blazing down my face. I watched as he tried to comfort me in the form of an embrace…but as before I just pushed him away…moving towards the other side of the room because I needed distance. "I said don't you ever fucking touch me again you bastard" My words were hateful and evil…but I didn't care because that was exactly how I felt at that very moment. "How was he?" I asked…wiping at my face as another bout of anger overtook me.

"Vince…I don't know what you are talking about" Stuart had the nerve to lie to me…despite that fact that he knew I could read him like a well read book. "You're upset and your talking out of your head"

"I said…how the fuck was he?" I questioned madly again as I strode over to where he continued to stand…trying like hell to avoid looking at me. "I just hope that he was good enough for you to lose me to" I rushed out…turning foot as I ran up the stairs to our room intent on leaving Stuart and going back to England forever.

"You don't mean that" I heard Stuart cry out behind me as I searched frantically for the travel case I knew was hidden somewhere in the depths of our cupboard. I just ignored him as I continued with my search…finding my ware as I turned away from him and made haste for the dresser. "Vince…I'm sorry about your mum and I know that you are angry at me but we need to talk about this before you do anything rash"

"I don't want to talk to you anymore" I spoke as calmly as I could muster. "I don't want anything to do with you at all. I have to leave…have to go back for the funeral. I…have to…um…I have to…" My words were slurred and staggered as everything once again hit me like a ton of bricks as I dropped the travel case onto the floor…me following it quickly soon there after. "OMG…she's gone" I wailed into Stuart's shoulder as he fell onto the floor beside me…pulling me into his arms and this time I didn't stop him. "She's gone Stuart and I didn't get to say goodbye" The guilt was so thick within my soul that I felt as if I couldn't pull enough air into my lungs. "She wanted me to come and visit her last year and I gave her nothing but excuses as to why I could not. Now…I'll never get to see here again"

"I know Vince" Stuart soothed…running his hand through my hair in a manner that he knew would calm me down…but it served to do the complete opposite. "But we didn't have the money then. There was no way that we could afford for you to go back to England and she knew that"

"And we still don't have the money" I sobbed into that same shoulder that I had laid upon time after time in the previous five years. "I still can't go home to see her"

"No…you'll go back. I promise you Vince. I will find a way for you to go back home and then when you come back we can work on things here…ok. Don't worry baby…I'll take care of you just like I always have" I didn't know why but those words cut though me like a knife as I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and held on for dear life. I knew that the time that was Stuart and Vince was quickly coming to a close and I wanted to hold onto it one last time before it did.

I woke up the next morning by the ringing of the telephone. I wasn't sure how I had ended up back in bed…but I could only assume that somehow despite Stuart's state that he had managed it. "Hello…" I said picking up the phone already knowing who it was.

"Vinnie…it's Alex again" I heard one of my best mates speak across the line. "I just wanted to call and make sure that you were ok. Stuart called me back last night and told me what happened. I'm really sorry Vince…I know how much your mum meant to you"

"Thanks Alex…" I croaked…swallowing the huge lump that was wedging its way into my throat. "Sorry about last night. How are you and Bernie?" I asked…knowing that my mother's death was affecting them as well.

"Bernie's been on a bender since it happened and I'm just in to much shock right now to really think about it. I'm trying to get as much stuff done as I can before you get there. Hazel and I had talked about what she wanted if she were to die…so there will be less things for you to worry about once you get here"

"I don't know if I will be able to make it for the funeral" I sniffled…wiping at the fresh bout of tears that had sprung up. "Stuart and I have been really tight with money and…"

"What are you talking about Vinnie? Alex asked and I could hear the confusion in his voice. "Stuart called me this morning and gave me your flight information and everything. You're scheduled to leave tonight and should land here sometime mid afternoon tomorrow"

"Vince…" I heard Stuart call out my name as I thanked Alex for all of his help…unable to say anything more since I had no idea what Stuart had planned. "Hey…" He spoke more calmly as he strode into the room…sitting beside me on the bed. "You ok?" He asked…reaching out to touch my face…only to jerk his hand back as I shied away from him. "Right…" He said more to himself as he slid off of the bed and walked towards the other side of the room. "I booked you a flight home tonight. Your flight leaves at ten-thirty…so you have plenty of time to pack and make arrangements with work. It's an open ended round trip ticket…so you can take a long as you need to settle up your mum's affairs and then you can come back home to me" I could hear the uncertainty in his voice as he spoke those last bit of words…but I was to knackered and upset to respond to them. I didn't even care to know where he had come up with the money for the ticket because all that mattered at the time was going back home and putting some much needed distance between the two of us. "Why don't you take a kip while I pack up your bags" I didn't put up any fight as I laid down…rolling over as I buried my face into the pillows as to hide my tearstained face.

I woke up hours later as Stuart nudged me by the shoulders with his hand. "Come on baby…I made you something to eat before your flight leaves"

"Don't call me that anymore" I spoke in a whisper because I couldn't speak any louder. He didn't say anything…just nodded his head before leaving me all alone in the room that we had shared through good times and bad. Neither of us spoke a word as I entered the kitchen…sitting at the table as I ate whatever it was that he had put in front of me. I didn't know what it was…couldn't taste it…couldn't smell it as like a robot I chewed and swallowed with no real thought behind it. "I have to go and talk to Michael" I blurted out…breaking the stone cold silence as I walked out the backdoor and into the garage…finding it void of Stuart's jeep…in its place my fenderless clunker. Thinking that maybe it was parked out front I made my way towards the front of the house to find the driveway and street empty. I knew in an instant how Stuart had gotten the money and despite the fact that I should have been grateful that he had sold his most prized possession…it only served to make me giggle. I knew exactly whom he had sold it to for his boss Brian Kinney had been hounding him for years to sell it to him. It made me happy to know that Stuart had lost something that had meant the world to him…because in a sense he knew what I was feeling like as well.

Michael was more then understanding as I retold the entire course of events from the previous evening…including Stuart's betrayal. I began to laugh hysterically once again as I told him how Stuart have finally given up and sold his best mate the jeep that he had always wanted and that I was sure that he had received less then what he had expected. I knew that Michael knew I was on the edge as he laid his hand upon my arm…grasping it as I tried to pull away before pulling me into his arms. "He's hurt me so badly Michael" I sobbed onto his shoulder…clutching the back of his suit jacket within my hands. "It's bad enough to lose my mother…but I've lost Stuart as well"

"Well maybe it's not over" Was his reply as he pulled back a little bit as he looked into my eyes. "Maybe all you need is some time apart to make you both appreciate what you have"

"He cheated on me Michael. He went to the pub and found someone and shagged him. I don't think that I can ever forgive him for that. I said as I took a heavy step away from Michael and fell into a nearby chair. "I'm just so knackered Michael…so bloody knackered. He hasn't been happy for a long time and he always blames me for it because I was the one that wanted to come to America. I wanted to come here…I did…but I wasn't the one that wanted to stay…but he doesn't remember that. We hardly get to spend any time together and when we do we are always arguing about money. We haven't made love in almost six months and it isn't for lack of trying on my part. Every time that I try to initiate it…he's always got some excuse or he's too tired. I just think that in some sad way my mothers death was a wake up call…that maybe once I get back to Manchester that maybe…"

"You're not planning one coming back" Michael cut me off…filling in the blanks with the right conclusion.

"No…I don't know" I answered truthfully because I really had no idea what I was going to do. "I mean maybe it's for the best that I stay in Manchester that way I won't be such a burden to him"

"Is that what you think he thinks of you?" Michael asked…sitting down on a chair beside me as he took my hand into his own.

"He never talks to me as a man anymore and every time that I do something that he deems wrong…he treats me like a child. I just can't take it anymore and yes before you ask I have tried talking to him about it and he just tells me that once I stop acting like a child he will stop treating me like one. I better go…" I stood up abruptly…removing my hand from Michael's as I made haste for the door of his office. "I just want to thank you for everything" I went on. "You've been a great friend since I started here and you have no idea what that means to me. Goodbye Michael" I didn't even look back as I exited the room…ignoring all the curious looks I was getting from the other employees as I left the store.

"We've you been" Stuart questioned me the moment that I entered our home. "It's been hours and I've been worried sick. Jesus Vince you'd think that you'd have the courtesy to tell me where you are going before…"

"Like you informed me of where you were going last night…and whom you were with" I interjected…letting him know in no uncertain terms that I knew where he had been and what he had been up too. "I am not your fucking child Stuart and I can bloody well come and go as I please. I better go…" I spoke over my shoulder as I walked into the hallway where Stuart had laid out my travel necessities.

"I'll drive you" I heard him say as I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the upcoming battle.

"I'd prefer it if you didn't come with me. I called a taxi from my mobile on the way home and it should be here any minute"

"Well cancel the fucking thing" He yelled just as expected as I turned to face him.

"I don't want to cancel it. Don't you get that I don't want you to take me to the airport. I need to do this alone. I'm sorry Stuart" The honking of a horn broke the eye contact that we had established as reached down and picked up my carryon.

"You're coming back aren't you Vince?" I heard Stuart's tearful question as I once again turned to face him. "Just promise me that you are coming back to me" His words were rushed and fearful as he lunged forward and pulled me into his arms. I didn't answer him…nor did I return the gesture as I pulled out of his embrace and walked out the door. There were no tears on my part…no broken hearted "I love you" on either part as I climbed into the cab…locking eyes once again with the man that I still loved…despite it all.

Once I got home I really didn't have time to think about Stuart during the day…but at night as I lay in my old bed the memories consumed me. I hated to admit it and as much as I tried to fight it I missed Stuart something terribly. Nightly I wished that he was there laying beside be…holding me as I fell apart. Instead…since the funeral I was the one holding everyone else together. I was on the brink of losing it as a week later I finally got a moment of peace to myself…only to have it shatter before me in the form of a knock at the door. I wanted to ignore it…but the person behind the door was insistent as I hauled my knackered ass over to the door and opened it. There stood a man dressed in a black suit with an envelope within his hands. "Vincent Tyler…" He asked as I tried to figure out who the bloody hell he was. "These are for you" He went on ignoring my pressing looks as he handed me the envelope and walked away without a second glance. Closing the door…I made my way back inside and opened the envelope.

"What the fuck else are you going to throw my way" I screamed into the ceiling as I threw the envelope across the room…falling heavily onto the worn and battered couch behind me. It had turned out that my mother hadn't paid any taxes on the house that I had grown up in in several years and now that she was dead the government was wanting what was owed to them. I didn't think that my life could get anymore fucked up then it was as the phone in the kitchen rang. "Hello…"

"Jesus Vince…I've been trying to reach you for a couple of days now" I heard Stuart's voice on the other end of the line as I closed my eyes and momentarily savored the sound of the one voice that I had been longing to hear. "Vince…you there?"

"Hi ya…" I finally spoke…opening my eyes as the harsh reality of my life hit me head on once again. I was still so angry at Stuart for everything that had happened and as he began to speak I found that the anger inside was once again beginning to simmer. It seemed that with each word it continued to churn as memories and events in our life flew across my minds eye. As the line went silent once again I knew that deep within my heart that no matter how much I loved Stuart…and always would…that there was no way that I could ever forgive him for betraying me. I knew that I should have ended things right then and there…but instead I took the cowards way out as I gave him an excuse about having to meet with the lawyer before ending the phone call. I was to numb to move…to numb to do anything as I slide down the kitchen wall…sitting upon the floor lost in my own world until Alex and Bernie found me there hours later.

"What the bleeding hell are you doing on the floor" I heard Bernie ask as he grabbed my by the arm and pulled me onto my feet.

"Did you either one of you know that she hadn't paid the taxes on this place for the last few years?" I rushed out my angered words…receiving my answer at the two looks of guilt I got as my reply. "How the fuck could the two of you live in this house in good conscience knowing that she didn't have the money to pay the taxes?" I asked…hoping that I would get some sort of an answer instead of the stone cold silence that I continued to receive. "Well just so you know I have to put the house up for action because of it. You have a few hours to get your bloody shit out of this house before I come back" I cried out…pushing past the two of them as I grabbed the envelope I had thrown earlier off of the floor…rushing out the door. I didn't know exactly where I was going until I found myself on the porch of Romy and Lisa's.

"Vince…come in" Lisa smiled at me as she opened the door. "Oh it's so good to see you" Her words of greeting went on as she pulled me into an embrace. "How you holding up love?" She asked once she had released me…leading me into another room. "Excuse the mess…" She giggled as she cleaned a spot off of the couch…indicating for me to sit. "Alfie had his little friends over this morning and they just tore though the place. So Vince…" she went on as she continued to clean up the loads of toys all over the floor. "What brings you to this neck of the woods" I couldn't answer her at first as I sat down heavily upon the spot she had cleared for me…trying like hell to control the tears that were once again threatening to eat me alive. As expected I lost the battle as I covered my face with my hands and began to blubber like a child. "Vince…" I heard her speak softly to me…the space beside me shifting as slender and delicate arms engulfed me…pulling me to her bosom. "Shhh…you just let it out" She soothed…rocking me back and forth in a motion that I had seen her perform for Alfie numerous times.

"I'm sorry" I sniffled a little while later when I had no more tears to cry because I had no more energy to cry them.

"Oh dear…you've had so much to deal with in this last week haven't you" She refused to release her hold upon me as I continued to allow her to hold me because it was something that I needed badly. "I bet you miss Stuart something fierce. I just wish that he could have been here with you to help you though it" She had no idea what was going on between Stuart and I as I debated telling her my tale of woe. "Have you talked to him? Well of course you've talked to him. You two couldn't go a day without speaking to each other when you were living here before and I am sure that nothings changed now"

"It's over…or it will be once I speak to him tonight" I blurted out…bracing myself for the worst as she removed her arms from around my neck…pulling away from me.

"What?" She said in utter shock. "What's going on Vince? I thought you and Stuart were so happy there in the America's?"

"We haven't been happy for a long time" I supplied the standard answer that I was beginning to get used to myself. An hour later we sat in silence after I told her everything…then having to rehash it once Romy got home from the office. As expected she wasn't surprised at Stuart's betrayal and continued to berate his very name until Lisa forced her to end her tirade. Despite the sadness that permeated me…I couldn't help the chuckled that escaped over my lips because it was nice to know that some things would never change. We discussed the envelope that I had received from the mysterious stranger and she confirmed my fears. The notice was binding and legal…giving me just a few weeks to get my affairs in order before the place went up to public action. I had so many things to do before that happened that I once again felt overwhelmed. Lisa and Romy must have sensed my upset as they each took a seat beside me…wrapping me within a cocoon of love that help to ease some of my fear and pain. They offered to let me stay with them as long as I wished and as I took up their offer the whirlwind know as Alfie breezed through the door.

"Hey mums…" He cried out as he whizzed past us running down the corridor…stopping short as he ran back into room and into my arms. "Uncle Vince…I didn't know you were here" He cried out…his cold cheek pressing into the warmth of my neck.

"Course…had to come and see my favorite little mate" I put on a real smile for once in a long time as I pulled him into my arms for one last cuddle. I visited with what was left of my shattering family for a while longer before taking my leave. I didn't want to go back to my mum's house right away as I walked around the city for hours on end. There was something that I had to do that I had been dreading from the moment that I had entered my home country. It was something that was one of the many levels of severing all ties with the once great love of my life and something that was going to kill me to do…but I proceeded anyway.

Once I got home I found it void of Bernie's and Alex's things as well as themselves. I was sorry in sense to see them go…but at the same time I was so angry at them for living under my mothers roof and allowing her to fall deeper and deeper into debt. I knew that my mother didn't mind. Hell…she had always been bringing strangers into the house for as long back as I could remember…but with them they were family and as far as I was concerned family took care of family. I knew that eventually I would forgive the two of them…but at that moment in time I was in an unforgiving mood. Sitting down upon the couch…I once again allowed the happy and not so happy memories to wash over me. I remembered the first time that I had laid eyes on Stuart Allen Jones and the way that he made my heart stop right in my very chest. I remembered running home and going on and on about him to my mother…despite the fact that I knew she was tired from a long days work. I could remember the first time that I brought him over to meet her and from moment one of laying eyes upon him she knew that he was going to be trouble. I recalled many hours of sitting in my room just the two of us as we talked about the future. I just never expected that the future would bring us to where we were at that time…broken and confused.

I cried again after that…long heart broken sobs of pain and loneliness…because in truth I felt lost without Stuart at my side. I was also exhausted beyond belief so much so that everything that was happening to me seemed so much like a dream. I felt as if I was living outside of my body and watching some heart wrenching nightmare that had to be someone else's because it could never be my own life. Laying down upon the worn and weary couch I pulled an equally worn blanket from off the back…laying it across my numb body as I cried myself to sleep. I dreamt of Stuart that night. A dream that felt as whole and as real to me as if he were standing right in front of me. In my dream his betrayal never happened and we were happy and more in love then ever possible. It was a dream that if I were truly conscience of it would have brought a smile to my face…that was until the realty of my life crept into it. My once happy dream turned into a nightmare as I was forced to watch Stuart fuck man after man in the back room of the local pub. With each one he would stare at me…smiling…but that smile told me all I needed to know. I woke up in a cold sweat…crying out Stuart's name. It was at the exact moment that everything became crystal clear as I picked up the phone and dialed an all to familiar number.

"Vince…" I heard a groggy voice speak on the other line a few moments later. I could tell that he had been waiting to me to call and for a moment it made my heart glad…but it only lasted a moment and did not detour me from my quest. "Vince…I didn't think that you would ever call. I miss you Vince…so fucking much. Do you miss me Vince? Do you miss me as much as I miss you?" I could hear the desperation in his voice as I closed my eyes and urged myself to be strong.

"I miss you too Stuart" I replied hoarsely…pinching the bridge of my nose as I once again closed my eyes. "But…" I held the words for a moment as the internal struggle continued to wage a bitter war within me. "But…I can't do this anymore" I finally got the words out…but they only came out as a strangled whisper.

"Vince…don't…please" Stuart cut in…the fear in his voice so prevalent that it caused the onset of tears once again. "Don't do this to us. We can work through this…I know that we can"

"Don't do this to us Stuart" I cried out in stunned hurt…when I shouldn't have been surprised in the least at his words. "You did this to us. You're the one who cheated on me…the one that hurt me. Don't you dare try and blame this on me Stuart Allen Jones"

"I know…I know…" He went on as if mocking me which only upset me even more. "I know that I made a mistake…but I am human Vince and I make mistakes"

"Really…" I deadpanned…grinning evilly despite my pain. "Just like I made a mistake when I hit the concrete block with the car. You remember that mistake don't you Stuart" My cries got louder as the line against my ear went strangely silent. "You know the one that I made and when you found out about it you ran from me and found some fucking bloke to shag…remember that one? What's the matter Stuart…cat got your tongue? Because it sure didn't when you were scolding me like your fucking child. It's over Stuart. I can't and I won't do this with you anymore"

"No…it's not over Vince. I won't let me it be. I fucked up…I know this…but I was so frustrated. We never had enough money and…"

"Oh I know about your frustrations Stuart" I chimed in. "I know about them because I was the one that you punished for each one. You never took an opportunity not to tell me how unhappy you were and how you in one way or another thought it was my fault" Once again tears slide down my face…but as much as it was killing me I held firm. "We used to be so happy at the beginning Stuart…do you remember?" I asked as I recalled some of the happier times since moving to America. "Do you remember riding the open road for days…only to stop for sleep? Do you remember making love for hours on end at each little town that we stopped in. I'd never been so happy in my life before those days…but then the money started running out and so did our time of happiness. You were the one that wanted to remain in the states. You were the one that made the decision to settle down in Pittsburgh when the money ran out. You were the one that decided that you wanted to settle down and buy a house…the same house that was much to large for just you and I…but you wanted it just the same. We had always been equals in our life together up until that point…but then you started getting frustrated and then all of a sudden I wasn't your equal anymore…I was your problem…your hindrance…your child. Jesus Stuart…you hadn't even touched me for almost six months. Every time that I even tried you had some excuse to push me away. Hell…maybe you were to busy shagging someone else…but it bloody well wasn't me"

"There was no body else Vince…I swear to you. I love you. You have to believe that. I've always loved you. It just took me a few years to say it to you"

"I know…" I sobbed…finally giving into my grief. "Your loving me was never an issue because you said it with more then just words. However Stuart…no matter how much I couldn't deny your love for me…I just don't believe that you like me very much anymore and I think that's what hurts worst of all. So your free Stuart. You don't have to worry about me anymore and fix up all my mistakes. I release you from your bonds to me"

"Vince…no…no…no" Stuart's cries were loud and tearful which of course made my tears flow even harder. "I love you dammit. I will always love you"

"I cashed in the other half of my ticket and wired some of it into our joint account. It was about eight hundred…but I kept some of it until I get settled after I sell the house. Once I find a job I will send you what I can until I have paid for whatever expenses I have incurred" I said with someone ease for it was getting easier to deal with the idea that Stuart and I were through.

"Vince…don't do this. I love you dammit. Do you hear me…I love you" I heard him scream madly across the line as I cried right along with him because I could hear that his words were true.

"I love you too Stuart. I always have from the first moment that I met you. But that was years ago. A different time and a different place. It's over Stuart. Don't try to come and get me…don't call me anymore…don't do anything…please" I begged. "Once I sell the house I am moving out of Manchester and getting my life back in order" I lied for I had no plans to move out of the city that I grew up in. However…I know that if I didn't say that little lie that Stuart would be on the next plane in an attempt to take me back. "Take care of yourself Stuart" And with that said I ended the phone call and the strange relationship that was Stuart and Vince. Stuart had tried to call back several times after I severed the call…but eventually he gave up as I went up to my room completely knackered. I didn't sleep much that night…but what I do remember is that in a sense I felt as if the weight of the world had been released from off of my back.

For the next several days I went through my mothers things. I had always known that she was a pack rat…but the deeper that I delved into cupboards and cubbyholes the more junk that I found. By mid day on the second day I was right tired…but determined to finish my task before the house was put up for auction not three days prior. However…a knock upon my door ceased my task for the moment as far as I was concerned as I opened the door and found the same mysterious man from the night before standing there. "I have until Friday to get this place closed up. You can't just come in here anytime that you want…this is still my mothers house for at least a few days" I spoke sternly at the man…trying to control the urge to pound him right there.

"I am afraid that you don't understand Mr. Taylor. I've come to give you this" He said…handing me another envelope with a smile upon his face.

"What…what is it?" I asked looking from the envelope in my hands to him because I was totally afraid to open it.

"It seems that the back taxes have been paid on your mothers house as well as the mortgage. What you will find in there is the deed to the house. Congratulations Mr. Taylor…you are now the soul owner"

"What…when…how?" I blurted out in complete shock. "I don't understand…I didn't pay for this"

"The person asked to remain anonymous sir…good day" And with that said the man tipped his hat at me and left. I was utterly gobsmacked as I continued to just stand there gawking at the envelope. Slowly and with timid fingers I opened it…reaching inside as I pulled out the paperwork hidden inside. My entire body was shaking as I read each and every word…rereading it for added measure to make sure that it was in fact real. "Oh my god…" I cried out towards the empty house as I began to jump up and down like mad man. The first thing that I did once I calmed down enough was called Lisa and Romy and ask them if they were the ones that did this…my confusion growing when they denied that they were. At first I thought that they were lying…but eventually I realized that they in fact had little money left over for much once the bills were paid. More confused then ever I decided to take a break and head down to the union in hopes of tracking Bernie and Alex down. I thought that maybe they had been the ones that paid the taxes in a sense for payment of milking off of my mother for so many years. True to form I found the two of them sitting alone in a dark corner…neither of them speaking as I made my way over to them…sitting down once I reached them.

"Hiya…" I was the first to speak…breaking the unease settled between us.

"Vince…" Bernie replied in a low voice…nodding towards me. "How are you lad?"

"Better thanks…" I answered with a smile. "Alex…" I nodded to him…laughing out loud when he practically crawled across the table in order to hug me. Words of forgiveness and love were shared that night because as expected I knew that I would forgive them in the end. It was that very night that they informed me that they were not my benefactors as well…sending my confusion rate even higher. I wanted to believe for awhile there that it might have been Stuart acting as my knight in shining armor…but I quickly let go of that idea as I remembered that there was no way that he could have gotten in hand that amount of money.

It was that very night that I ran into an old foe…but someone that later turned out to be an right good mate. Nathan had become very rich and very famous since Stuart and I had left Manchester. He had been spotted by some talent agent at the club one night and after a night of shagging signed him up as his newest gay model. As expected Nathan was a natural behind the camera…and was every gay mans wet dream. He was rich beyond his wildest dreams…yet years later he was tired of the traveling and craziness that was the modeling world and flat out walked away from it. He decided to move back to Manchester to try and get some normalcy back into his life…but every time that we went out he was recognized…so eventually we just hung around my place or his and really got to know each other.

I was in amazement of the man that he had turned into since knowing him as a young chicken. There was no denying that he had become drop dead gorgeous….but he had matured into a beautiful man as well. I was glad that Nathan and I had been given the chance to get to know each other once again…because he truly became a wonderful best mate. I told him everything about what happened between Stuart and I and yet he didn't seemed surprised in the least when I told him. However…he stumped me when he told me that he knew that Stuart still loved me and that eventually the two of us would end up back together. "You two have been at each other's side from the first moment that you met. It's like it was written in the stars…destiny if you will and no matter how much you try…there's no messing with destiny" Were his words and they stung my heart with fresh longing for the man that there was no denying that I would always love.

I eventually found a job working for Nathan as his personal assistant if you will. I scheduled all his appearances…took his calls and anything else that he needed done. I know what you are thinking…me…working for the chicken? But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be when he offered it to me and the money that he was paying me was worth any small bit of aggravation. I had enough money where I could fix up my mothers house and was even able to buy a right nice motorcar as well.

I was content with my life for the most part…but at night after Nathan had gone off with one of his million and one shags and I was left alone…my mind always wandered towards Stuart. I always wondered what he was up to. If he was seeing anyone…if he was happy. I hoped that he thought about me even if just in passing since it had been nearly a year since that fateful night that I had ended it all. I had been out on a few dates since then…had even shagged a few men…but none of them ever compared to Stuart. In truth I was missing Stuart so much some nights that I felt that I would go mad with want of him. I craved for his touch…his kisses…even his sarcastic wit. I could remember everything about that body that used to play off of my body in perfect harmony. The memories were so real that quite often I found myself having a wank as they played over and over in my head.

Missing Stuart was slowly driving me mad and so I decided to focus my energies on cleaning up the mess that was Nathan's office one night when I was lonely and missing him terribly. It was on that very night that I found our who had paid for the back taxes on my mum's house as well as the mortgage. "It was you" I cornered Nathan the next morning…holding a copy of the draft slip in my hand as he poured himself a cuppa. "You paid the back taxes…paid the mortgage…but why…and how?" I asked…squinting my eyes as I walked over towards the too silent man. "You weren't even back in Manchester yet…so there was no way for you to know what was going on. As it was you didn't even know that my mother had passed on until that night we ran into each other at the pub. So…how did you know to do this?" I asked…racking my brain for an answer before he gave one.

"Stuart called me and told me about it" He replied…laying his hand upon my arm to steady it as it shook.

"Stuart…how?" I asked…closing my eyes as I awaited his explanation.

"We've kept in touch over the years"

"Right…course. Stuart would have kept in touch with you and not told me about it" I spoke more to myself then him as I stumbled over towards the lounge…needing to sit down in the worst kind of way. "You always meant so much to him and…"

"It's not what you think Vince" He came to Stuart's defense…sitting down beside me as he took my hand into his. "At the beginning I was hopeful that he would realize how much he missed me and ask me to come to him…but I knew from the first night that you both spent in America that it would never happen. I could hear the excitement in his voice as he described everything that you saw…and what I soon realized that he was explaining it from your point of view"

"I don't understand" I said…more confused and hurt then I had been in a long time.

"Each time that he called and described something that you both had seen…he always told me about it as if looking through your eyes. It wasn't that he enjoyed the traveling and sightseeing that the two of you did…what he loved was the way that you reacted to each thing that you did see…each experience that you shared together"

"He did?" I whispered…smiling softly at this new bit of information…only to replace it with a sour look at I recalled reality. "Yeah…well all that changed when we settled down. He started becoming frustrated with his life and he took it out on me"

"He didn't mean to take it out on you Vince…and yes he was frustrated…but not for the reasons that you think. He was frustrated because he felt that he was letting you down once the money started running out. He was upset that he couldn't buy you the best things in life and give you what your heart desired. He was frustrated because he wanted you to have a better life when what you had growing up and despite his best efforts to try…he wasn't able to. He wanted you to be proud of him…but he feels as if he failed you in that aspect. He loves you Vince. Hell…he still loves you…but he knows that he has hurt you and accepts that you can't be with him anymore. He hopes that you find someone to take care of you in the way that he always wanted to…despite that fact that it is nearly killing him"

"You're still talking to him…" I blurted out…grasping Nathan by the arm as I turned him to face me fully. "You're still talking to him and keeping him updated on my life aren't you?"

"Don't be angry Vince…he just wants to make sure that you are happy" Nathan defended himself…putting his hands up in fear of oncoming attack.

"What about him…is he happy?" I asked…grabbing onto his hands instead…squeezing so tightly that he cried out in pain. "Is he…seeing anyone?" I knew that I shouldn't have wanted to know…but I was dying of curiosity.

"Not anyone since you left him Vince" I heard him say…sending my heart soaring and breaking at the same time.

"He cheated on me. He slept with another man. He hurt me so much Nathan" I sobbed as everything that was old and buried became open and raw again.

"I know he did Vince…and he's more then sorry for that…but don't you think that the two of you have suffered enough. He loves you so much Vince…and I know that you still love him" I tried to speak…but he just cut me off and continued. "Did you know that you cry out his name at night. Sometimes its so loud that you would think that he was right there in the room with you…instead of half was across the bloody world. You still love him Vince…just admit it to yourself then go and fucking get him back"

"I couldn't…could I?" I questioned…searching Nathan's eyes for an answer…but I already knew what it was. "OMG…I'm going back home" I cried out…jumping up off of the couch as I pulled Nathan into my arms. "I'm going back to the one place that I belong…the one person that I belong" I sang…taking him with me as I jumped up and down in glee. "Holy shit…I have so much to do. I have to sell that house and…"

"You have to pack yourself a travel case…I will take care of the rest. I am calling the airline right now to get the earliest flight for you. Oh Vince…I am so happy for you. Wait…what about Stuart…are you going to tell him"

I thought about it for a moment…thinking that I might want to surprise him and just show up upon what was once our doorstep…but fear prohibited me from doing that. As far as I knew there was a possibility that Stuart might not want me back and so with great trepidation I locked myself in Nathan's office and placed the call that would make or break my future with Stuart.

"You calling two days early…what's wrong with Vince?" I heard Stuart's voice on the other end of the line for the first time in almost a year. "Fucking Christ Nathan…speak to me. Don't leave me bloody hanging here"

"Stuart…" I croaked like a frog…swallowing hard as I tried to gather my courage to speak.

"Vince…Vince is that you? Are you ok…what's wrong?" I could hear the panic and fear in his voice and it made my heart beat a bit faster within my chest. "Speak to me Vince…please"

"I'm fine Stuart" I assured with a smile upon my lips…tears of happiness sliding down my face.

"I don't understand…" Panic was replaced by confusion…which in turn caused my smile to disappear in an instant.

"I've been a bloody fool Stuart that's what wrong" I rushed out…wanting to just hang up the phone and pretend that it never happened…but my need to be with Stuart forced me onward. "I ran away at the first real trouble between us because I was hurt. I kept blaming your for treating me like a child when I did just that when things got bad"

"No…Vince…don't do that" Stuart cut me off. "You were right about everything. I was so unhappy with the way that my life was going that I took it out of the one person that meant the most to me. The thing is Vince…is that I wasn't unhappy at being with you…but in that I couldn't give you the life that I wanted to give you. I was the one that fucked up. I hurt you because of my own inadequacies and I lost you because of it. I am so sorry about that night Vince…so sorry about what happened. I never meant for it to happen…"

"I want to come home Stuart" I blurted out…ending the tirade of old memories that I just wanted to forget about. "I want to come home to you…if you still want me. I know that we have so much to work on…but I miss you so much Stuart that I can't stand to be away from you another moment" The silence of the other end of the line was deafening as I closed my eyes and prepared for the worst to come.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" I heard him finally speak up. "I mean after everything that has happened you really want to come back to me"

"If you'll have me back" I replied quickly for I didn't need to think twice about that answer.

"So when is your flight coming in?" I heard him question me through his laughter and it caused me to laugh as well. Stuart and I talked long into the night after that. Hours later we had discussed the past…filled each other in on what had been going on since we had been apart…even though through Nathan…Stuart already knew most of it. He told me that he loved me that night and as the words reached my ear…I couldn't help but catch my breath because it felt so right. Sometime during the conversation Nathan had popped in to inform me that I would be on a flight bound for Pittsburgh on the next morning flight. I bid Stuart a good night as promises of love and undying devotion were shared. I got no sleep that night as I packed in a rush…not really caring what I was packing because all that mattered was getting back to my love.

Nathan took me to the airport the next morning…holding my hand the entire time before boarding since I was about to explode from my skin. I couldn't wait to see Stuart again…to feel his body pressed against my own…to feel his kisses once again turn me into putty. I felt as if time was standing still…that it would be an eternity before I got to see him again and it was slowly killing me.

"Announcing the boarding call for flight two twenty five for New York City" I heard the announcement over the intercom system as I jumped off of the chair Nathan had been forcing me to sit upon.

"OMG…this is it" I cried out…literally shaking in my shoes out of nerves and pure want.

"Yep…you're finally going to be back with the man that you love…congratulations Vince. I know that you and Stuart are going to be very happy together"

"Thanks chicken…" I laughed…pulling him into my arms as I thanked him over and over again.

"Ok…enough of the gooey stuff" he chuckled…pushing me away but I could still see the tears in his eyes. "Here's your boarding pass. I know that you wanted me to get you coach class…but I upped you to first class. You're a great guy and you deserve the best. Your flight lands in New York early tomorrow morning and your connecting flight leaves mid morning. You should be back in Pittsburgh and Stuart's arms by afternoon tea. Second…" He went on…putting his hand up as I tried to argue with him. "In this envelope you will find ten thousand American dollars…use it to start your life over with Stuart. I don't want to hear it" I heard him speak over the refusal that I was once again trying to say to him. "Think of it as severance pay for a job well done. Now…go"

"Thank you…" I blubbered like a child as I once again pulled him into my arms before kissing him upon his cheek. "You've been like a god send and I can never repay you for that" He didn't say anything as he pushed me towards the stewardess waiting for me to board…giving me a tearful wave before turning and walking off.

The flight home was as long as I expected it to be…but I met a really nice bloke sitting next to me and that helped to pass some of the time. My layover in New York was the most frustrating thing of all as a fog rolled into the city and halted all flights for nearly four hours. Once the ban had been lifted and we were able to board I was a near mess. It was only a mere hour before I was to see Stuart and I knew that hour was going to be the longest of my lifetime. Again time didn't disappoint as that hour seemed to last forever…but eventually my suffering came to an end once the plane landed and we were able to un-board. I was a nervous wreck as I pushed my way past everyone in order to find the man I was dying to lay eyes upon. I must have apologized a hundred times as dirty looks and curse words were thrown my way over and over again…but I didn't care. The corridor seemed to go on forever…until the brightness of the airport lobby loomed ahead of me. Adding speed to my step I rushed into the open space searching frantically for Stuart…my heart racing as my eyes scanned the room frantically.

"Vince…" I heard his voice call out to me as I turned heel and found him standing several feet away from me. For several long minutes we just stood there facing each other with no words spoken or movement given. I watched as every emotion known to man played across Stuart's face…hurt…betrayal…pain…but most of all love.

"Stuart…" I spoke his name barely above a whisper because the lump in my throat would not allow me to do so. Tears watered my eyes as a fear as huge as England began to over take my heart. For a brief second I felt as if coming back to Pittsburgh had been a huge mistake but that thought dissipated rather quickly as he rushed towards me. My breath expelled from my body as he crushed me to his own body…whispering my name over and over again. "Oh god Stuart…" I moaned…relishing the feel of that beautiful body once again pressed against my own. It had been too long since I had experienced that feeling and as far as I was concerned now that I was back it was something that I was going to feel several hundred times a day. I was home or at least I thought I was until Stuart pushed me away slightly…placing his large hands upon both sides of my face before leaning in and snogging the very breath from my body. It was a beautiful kiss…a kiss of reacquaintance…or love and undying love and devotion…it was a kiss that proved to me that I was truly home.

"Jesus Vince…I've missed you so much" I heard him murmur against my ear once the need for air broke up apart…but not once did he ever left go of me. "This past year has been a bloody nightmare since you left…and I am so sorry for everything. I promise to never hurt you again. I love you so much Vincent Tyler…so bloody much" and before I knew it his lips were pressed against mine once again. However…I didn't care as I gave into that kiss as much as Stuart was putting in until once again breathing became an issue.

"I want to go home Stuart" I nearly begged as I broke contact from the love of my life. "Please…just take me home"

"Home…yes" He smiled at me…taking the bag I still held within my hand from me and slinging it over his shoulder. With that beautiful smile upon his face…he took my hand and led me out of the airport and into the parking garage.

"OMG…" I giggled like a school girl in awe as we stood before my old clunker. "I can't believe that you actually kept this" I laughed again…jumping up and down in excitement. "I figured you'd have sold it for scrap metal by now"

"You loved this bleeding car" He spoke…throwing my bag into the boot. After you left I was so angry that I thought about having it destroyed…but I couldn't. It's a part of you and what I've been driving around for the last year…broken bumper and all"

"I love you so much" I exclaimed…pinning him to the side of the car as I assaulted his mouth with my own. I don't know who long we were there making out like teenagers…but we quickly pulled apart as someone screamed for us to get a room.

"Come on…let's get you home" Stuart laughed…wiping tenderly at my saliva coated lip before opening the car door and helping me in. I remembered immediately upon sitting down upon the worn seat as to why I loved that old car so much as I slide across the seat…practically sitting in Stuart's lap. Wrapping both arms around his neck…I laid my head upon his shoulder…nestling my face within the warmth of his neck. "Tired?" He asked…laying his right hand upon my thigh.

"A bit…" I lied because the truth was the I was out right knackered…but I didn't want to ruin the moment.

"You still can't lie for shite" He laughed…giving my leg a playful squeeze before starting up the car. I was asleep before we even left the garage and before I knew it we were once again home. "Come on baby…" I heard him whisper against my ear as he practically hoisted me out of the car. "We're home"

"I like that…" I smiled against his neck.

"Like what?" He asked…wrapping his arm tightly around my waist for support.

"When you call me baby" I blushed….smiling up at him as we walked into our home. I didn't get much sleep that night for as soon as we entered the house all it took was one look at each other to know what was about to happen next. We raced up the stairs into our bedroom…shedding our clothes as we did just like a flash.

That first night back together was so glorious that even now I struggle to find the words to describe it. It was as if it were the first time…fearful and new…but oh so exciting as well. Kissing…biting…tugging and sucking lasted for hours as we explored…tasted and teased each other until we were on the brink of madness. I don't even remember how many times I came that night…but it is a goal that we have yet to master yet again…albeit we are constantly trying. I cried out in wild abandon the moment that he entered me with that beautiful penis of his…his cries mingling with my own as he fucked me practically through the mattress. Afterwards sated and covered in sweat I literally fell apart in Stuart's arms because the true reality of being home and back with him again finally hit me.

"Vince…baby…what is it?" He asked softly…concern screaming across his handsome face. "You're not having second thoughts are you?"

"Jesus no…" I rushed out…wrapping my arms around his neck and he laid beside me. "It's just that it's so real and it's just hit me all at once" I whispered against his chest…tracing my fingers along his curves. "I've been so lonely for you Stuart and now that I'm back in your arms I can't stop blubbering like a child because I am so happy. I love you Stuart. I love you so much"

"I'm happy too Vince" He replied as he kissed the top of my head gently…pulling me tighter against his body. "Welcome homey baby…and know that I love you more then you can ever imagine or know"

The End…for now!!!


End file.
